This weekend, I attended an oceanside wedding in Fort Lauderdale for the Union of two girlfriends that I dearly love. They complement each so perfectly and both radiate an inner beauty as unique as their personal wedding vows to each other. And just like their vows, their Love often leaves me in tears. Other times, I find myself wishing that I lived closer in proximity to them as I would welcome them as daily additions to my life. I am awestruck, not by their perfection, but by a Love that seems to transcend expectation.
Their relationship reminds me of what it is to be loved for being yourself, to form a bond and a partnership based on love and acceptance, and their wedding day was much of the same. It wasn’t about all the craziness and frills and formality of a big wedding. It was about intimacy, and inclusiveness, and real joyous friendship. These are the things that I think we all want for ourselves, the things that we seek for ourselves and for those that we care about. It was a celebration of lives with mutual purpose.
As a single person, it struck a chord with and in me. This beautiful gift that I see before me is something that I don’t personally have in my romantic life. And life makes no guarantees that I ever will.
Now, I could be saddened by this and depressed. I could grow bitter at my loved ones for showing me a beauty that seems almost unattainable to me. I could give up hope and harden, closing myself off and wondering what I lack, what I’ve done wrong, and how I can be “better” to attract a worthy partner.
Or I could be inspired by it, and allow it to remind me that if I keep my energy open, and joyous, and continue to build the life that makes me happy, and fulfilled, and enriched with purpose and meaning, then maybe along the way I will find a partner to help me build an addition.
But what if I don’t? What if, unlike my precious friends, I remain single? And companion less? What then?
What if I redefined my life, not by the status of a romantic relationship but by the quality of a life truly lived?
And without settling and until a true partner comes along, I am just going to remember that there are things to do, people to meet, books to read, emotions and feelings and actions and trips. There are museums and meals, puppies to pet and pillows to cuddle, languages to learn and friendships to nurture along with my friendship with myself. If I focus on building a life worth celebrating, where I continue to grow, and evolve, and be energized by the World around me and then maybe, just maybe, along the way, a person will wander in, realize that we add to each others happiness and that sharing a Life together would be a worthy venture.
But if that doesn’t happen, and if I remain single, then can I build a Life worthy of being celebrated?
I think I can.