Losing My Shadow

I don’t like being vague. It’s
not my thing. I also don’t want to traipse sadness continually over people’s lives or FB pages. But here goes:

My sweet Callie has been given less than a week to live. I decided to bring her home yesterday from the vet and spoil the heck out of her and love her…to death. 

  

Her renal failure is in end stage. She just hasn’t been happy and the disease has taken its toll. She hasn’t been eating lately, and what she does she rarely keeps down. She weighs around 53lbs and I can’t keep her alive just to keep her alive. I am choosing Quality of Life for her. We’ve stopped her subcutaneous treatments and we are using meds to make her comfortable until we transition her later in the week. 

I have loved this precious pup for over 10 years.  I wasn’t looking to adopt another pup when I met her when she was a 6-month old foster, drugged out on multiple meds to keep her calm. They told me that she would be a flight-risk, which is why she had multiple leashes on. And they told that she was scheduled for termination the following week because she didn’t trust enough to bond with anyone.

I asked if I could try to bond with her. The fear and uncertainty was so strong in those big brown eyes…but I sat down about a foot away from her and she sized me up and down.  Within minutes, she got up slowly, walked over and crawled into my lap…and fell asleep.  

She stole my heart that day and she’s never given it back.

She’s my family. Not only did we bond, for most of her life she’s been my Shadow, sometimes walking so closely to me that she bumps into my hand or my leg. She has made my heart huge with so many loving, joyous memories.  It’s with compassion that we transition her this week…and its because of her that I have this compassion.  

I’ve never been particularly good at saying Good-bye. 

I am going to miss my Golden Nugget. 

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