A Month In and I am Leaning…

I am surrounded with inspiring and complex new people, delicious food, and rich history. I will have been to 6 countries (Germany, Croatia, Bosnia, Italy, Czech Republic, and Amsterdam) in a span of 6 weeks.

I have laughed myself to tears, discovered new aspects of myself that I didn’t know existed, shared vegan food with supportive omnivores, climbed with awe the massive set of stairs to the Piazzale Michelangelo to watch the sun set over all of Florence, Italy, hopefully helped and inspired others, and even considered buying a small bookstore, just to change pace and surround myself with more of what I love, and I am here to say:

You cannot outrun or distract yourself from the pain of losing an intense, love/pain filled 6 year relationship.

You must just dance with it and feel the loss when it presents itself.

But you must also allow yourself the freedom and the grace to feel it, deeply feel it when the moments arise.

I am not one to get stuck in an emotional moment for an extended period of time. I try to embrace and honor the Now, the Present, this Flash of Time.

Yet in those quiet moments without distraction and without stimulation, my heart reminds me of its loss, and I am left breathless and yearning for a familiar that is familiar no more.

And instead of pushing the pain of those feelings down, I let them bubble over; I respect the Love that exists regardless of the current nature of that relationship, and feel grateful to have been so Loved in return, and with that knowledge, I lean into the new breath with the Hope of what the fresh day will bring.

#RemoteYear #RemoteYearMangata #Mangata #travelabroad #grablifebytherains #digitalnomad

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