It’s been an emotional morning.
It’s the 1-year anniversary of my fathers death.
There have been several visits home and a great deal of processing, some of which hasn’t ended and some of which I don’t believe ever does.
My fathers death is less of a mystery to me than his life. Sorting through paperwork and memorabilia and pictures, I am struck with the person he started out in this world as and who he became through experience and choice. The disconnect requires much reconciliation.
However, I did discover that despite appearances, he did love me in his own way. Every card made, every card bought, he kept everything that I gave him, lovingly sorted by year.
His death has sparked in me the search for more: More experience, more connection, increased meaning. I value time in a richer way.
From beyond the grave, he motivated me to take my health more seriously. He died at the age of 69 and the concept of having only 25 more years to live awoke in me the need to take massive action.
I’ve been focusing on improving my mental and emotional health while adopting and embracing fully a whole-food, plant-based diet for better physical health. I’m down 50+ pounds since his death, 30+ of those just since becoming vegan February 1st. I’m not sure any of that would have happened had it not been for this wake up call.
I’ve found myself a warm, kind, insightful, and gracious therapist who has helped guide me through the pain of processing my traumas. She gets me and appreciates me, arming me with lifelong tools.
I’ve hired a kick ass personal trainer who motivates me and has me on the path to fitness without injury.
And I have so many upcoming adventures planned that I will be announcing in the upcoming months.
I have discovered my strength and my resilience in all of this and for that I am grateful.
I’ve been listening to Sheryl Sandberg’s book, Option B, lately and in it she references this fantastic quote that truly resonates with me:
“Let me fall if I must fall. The one I will become will catch me.”